Snapping at Others

 

“RED GERBERAS” DS

Yesterday, I snapped an angry response to my husband’s joking around at the red-bouqueted breakfast table. First I justified my response to myself: it is not funny, I am tired, overworked, and my favourite, I need some personal space. Then I got up and left the white table and went to the yellow ‘room of my own’.

Of course, there, I was confronted by myself and reminded of God. While reading e-mail, it was not long before I felt an inner twist, a shifting of attitude, a response of regret. This is not who I am, I whispered. I gave myself a cooling off period of daily ablutions. I wish I could say that I prayed. I slowly walked down the hall to where my long-suffering spouse sat reading. My tone was properly humble as I braced myself for sarcasm. I’m sorry I snapped at you, I said. He replied a simple, that’s OK, and smiled. We kissed then. Is this God’s daily bread of grace?

Today, as I reflect back on the last 24 hours, I see that worry has crept in, and busyness has overtaken my soul. As I have worked toward graduation, I had seen the edge of burnout and want to retreat. It is time for some self-care. I wonder how first to practice what I preach, again.

Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.

Book of James

 

About Deborah Stephan

Over the years my work has been exhibited in over 70 shows in B.C., Ontario and even Scotland. Some portraits also were in a multi-country travelling show. A couple of awards came my way as well. P…

Source: About Deborah Stephan

Blue Suede Shoes

“Blue Suede Shoes” Collage DS

So yesterday as I walked the UBC campus a woman came out of a building wearing blue suede shoes. I had just written an in class test and was on my way to grab lunch at a nearby Italian café. My hand went to my bag to retrieve my phone to capture her feet. Then disappointed, I realized I could not take a photo of her feet without being observed. I thought perhaps it would be a violation of her privacy unless I asked permission. I was too tired for that level of sociability.

Today they are still etched in my memory. They were a lighter blue than expected – just a bit paler than blue jeans. They had chunk brown heels and matching blue fringes along the sides of the low rise boots. They complimented her pencil skirt in beige. She was a student of fashion.

Last week I had just gifted a light blue-framed collage I had created months go. It featured a cut-out of boots which I had coloured royal blue. The abstract surrounding magazine imaging of ochre and orange I supplemented with royal purple, green, red and white paint. The idea of creating those blue suede shoes low in the picture plain gave me great pleasure. I did not know why.

It came to me that they were a metaphor for dancing, yes. I have always, from my earliest days of doing the Scottish “Highland Fling” and “Sword Dance,” loved dancing. In recent years, after a catastrophic ankle injury, I do not dance – on the outside. Inside, however, I dance as much as I have always done. This, I see, is God’s message to me. He sees me, as I really am – a dancer.

David danced before the Lord with all his might.

Second Book of Samuel