The retreat day I had been planning to attend for weeks now has just been postponed. The next date given will not work for me. I had looked forward to being with everyone. I have decided that as the day is already set aside I will make my own retreat day.
This morning I was reading in “An Altar in the World” by Barbara Brown Taylor about making a choice for making space to be alone with God and “to decide to live on the fire God has made inside you.” I learned how to plan my own day like this and in fact to plan a retreat day for others in a course I took last year at The Carey Centre at UBC. As my thought is to attempt to ‘practice what I preach’ I will do this rain or shine. The day on the waterfront will roughly follow this outline: read, draw, walk, praise, write, walk. This day will do me good I am sure and refresh me for workshop facilitation.
Again, Taylor writes that if I do not try to avoid the areas of pain in my life I could experience “great sighs too deep for words to pour from my body” and if I try to be open to my own life experiences I may find they “lay flowers on [my] bed. She goes on to say “when you let God hold you because you do not have the slightest idea how to hold yourself…” you end in praise as you”lose yourself long enough for God to find you…” I do have a situation in my life where I feel at a loss where I would like to feel “this life-giving breeze” like Taylor. I just hope it does not rain all day. It could create a lot of smoke.